Posted by Julia | 7 min read
I need to tell you about the client who
made me rethink everything I thought I knew about screening people.
His name was Brian, and on paper he was
perfect. Professional job, great references from other providers, polite during
our phone conversation. He even sent flowers to the hotel before our
appointment, which seemed thoughtful and classy.
But the moment I walked into that hotel
room, something felt wrong. He was too eager, too familiar, talking to me like
we'd known each other for years instead of having just met. He kept mentioning
specific details about my life that I'd never shared with him.
Turns out he'd been researching me
obsessively online. He knew where I went to school, had found my old social
media accounts, even figured out where my family lived. What I thought was
charm was actually him demonstrating how much he'd been stalking me.
I ended that appointment early, but it
taught me that good references don't always catch psychological red flags.
Then there was Marcus - not my regular
Marcus, different guy with the same name. This one seemed normal during
screening, but during our appointment he started getting increasingly
aggressive. Not physically violent, but verbally pushing boundaries, trying to
negotiate for services I'd said I don't provide, getting argumentative when I
redirected him.
What scared me wasn't the aggression
itself, but how quickly his personality changed once he thought he had me alone
in a room. It was like a switch flipped and the polite guy from our phone
conversation completely disappeared.
That experience taught me to pay more
attention to how clients respond to the word "no" during initial
conversations, even about small things.
The worst one was probably David - again,
different from my regular David. This guy booked a two-hour appointment, seemed
normal for the first hour, then started getting emotional and trying to turn
our professional arrangement into some kind of therapy session about his
relationship problems.
When I gently tried to redirect the
conversation, he got upset and accused me of being cold and uncaring. Then he
started crying and saying I reminded him of his ex-wife who had left him.
The whole thing became this weird emotional
manipulation where he was trying to make me feel guilty for maintaining
professional boundaries. It was uncomfortable in a way that's hard to explain -
not scary like physical aggression, but psychologically draining.
These Asian escorts experiences taught me that screening
has to go beyond just verifying identity and checking references. You also have
to try to gauge someone's emotional stability and their understanding of what
professional boundaries look like.
Now I pay attention to subtle warning signs
during initial conversations - clients who seem overly familiar too quickly,
people who push back against basic screening questions, anyone who seems to
have unrealistic expectations about what our professional relationship will be
like.
The good news is that these really
problematic clients are pretty rare. Most of my clients are genuinely decent
people who understand professional boundaries and treat me with respect.
But the bad ones teach you lessons that
help you recognize red flags earlier and protect yourself better going forward.